Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Down in my Heart to Stay

I realized how long it's been since I blogged when I couldn't remember the password to my blog sign-in.
That being said, my reason for not blogging has nothing to do with not having anything so say. If you know me at all, I can always come up with something to say. Really, my problem lies with a lack of time and energy.

So, now that my on-line courses to keep my CA teaching credential are finished, the yearbook is submitted, etiquette classes are over, and there are 9 weeks of school left- most of which is planned for- I might up take up a hobby besides sleeping. That hobby just might be blogging again. Get ready, I've learned a lot this year!

One thing I've taken away from this past year is something God's been working on with me for a while. And I think it might have just got through this thick head of mine. I've really learned to find JOY in Christ. In the fact of his sacrifice for me. In his unconditional love. In his never-ending love for me. For so long I would quickly forget that kind of Joy, and I'd settle back into the circumstantial joy. The kind that leaves when something you don't want to happen actually happens. The kind that empties you. The kind that create doubt, fear, and that must-control-everything feeling. The kind that disappears when things change.

I know I've crossed over- and I want to stay on this side- because things can change in a minute. People who you could believe in change. Jobs change. Finances change. Relationships change.

God doesn't change. The fact Christ died for me doesn't change. And, in the middle of a world where every thing will change, I find JOY in One who won't.

I'm seeing lots of change and things that can be uncertain. Traditionally, this would make me nervous. And, maybe it still does a little. I mean, I went over a week without sleeping an entire night. I've prayed a lot, though. And God reminded me of Him. His Joy. Then, last night, I slept the whole night through!

That song from Sunday School makes sense. "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart! Where? Down in my heart.... down in my heart to stay!"