Wishy-Washy

Emmie Ann ran into the kitchen, "Will hit me!" She turned around and ran back out. Not by my super-mom hearing, but because they were just in the living room, I heard Will's attack, "Don't tattle on me! I'm gonna get in trouble and it's YOUR fault!" He met my eyes as he stormed into the kitchen, "Emmie Ann tattled on me!" She cried, upset from the hit and now his verbal attack; he cried, mad he was caught and knowing he was guilty...
I took a deep breath and began to sort the "he said- she said" out of the problem and get back to what caused it all... Will hit Em because she had something he wanted. That was the problem to deal with, so that's where we started.

Life is like that, I later thought as I threw a load of dirty clothes into the washing machine. How much of my time do I waste trying to sort the facts, the opinions, the details out of it before I remember what it is really about. Too often I let life get ahold of my thoughts and I start trying to figure things out on my own. Like Will, I try to defend myself when I should just realize I started it. My life is about more.
Much more.
My life is about a God, a God who made himself man, who came down here to live in dirt though he was pure. This God withstood attacks verbally, allowed sin to spit on him, and then bled to death on a cross for me. Dirty, sinful, doubtful, anxious, worrying, opinionated, defensive me.

And, as I stood in my "laundry closet" (because if you've been to my house lately, you know it is unfair to call it a "room"), I watched those dirty clothes go around and around. And, I prayed. I prayed God could help wash the dirt from my life so that I could come out clean. This I may have to pray ten times a day, but I pray God allows me to see Him through the dirt. I don't want to live a wishy-washy life; I want to live a life firm in Him.